The Bastard Lands

My own homebrew world I call the Bastard Lands. It’s an amalgamation of whatever the heck I want, mixed, diced, chopped, covered and chunked, like good Waffle House hash browns.

Pictured: Good storytelling

The original idea was that there was a gang of gods that were unhappy being the lesser beings of their pantheon, and decided to improve their station by creating their own world full of worshippers. The “minor” problem with their plan was that none of them had the raw power to do that, creatio ex nihilo.

Thus, to create their world they stole a jigsaw of pieces from other worlds and times and stitched them together in a seemingly haphazard fashion, according to their own designs.

Entire kingdoms woke up one morning to find everything outside their borders was changed. Cities finished lunch to find everything outside their walls was different. Fishermen returned from sea to find their ports gone and the entire coastline changed.

For a short time, there was chaos, as the various and vastly different neighbors met each other for the first time, without centuries of context. Wars were waged in an instant, as everyone searched for the cause, and blamed everyone else.

As the geological locations changed, weather changed with it, and once fertile lands became deserts, former deserts bloomed to life and jungle kingdoms found themselves in a new frozen climates.

As the final act of their plan, the gods sealed the realm, preventing extraplanar travel. Wizard who had once walked he multiverse suddenly found their spells simply no longer functioned, or deposited them, unceremoniously, in the great sea of the astral plane that now surrounded the new prime material.

Eventually there came an uneasy peace, as simple survival concerns became more important than petty questions of misguided vengeance.

The gods realized quickly they made one serious mistake. Without access to other planes, the souls of the dead were trapped and unable to escape to the afterlife. After some debate among them, they peeled back some of their previous isolation, allowing connections to the upper and lower planes for the purpose of transporting the deceased.

However, the demons of the abyss quickly learned of the connection, and began scheming, as they do, to drag this fledgling plane into hell.

Only the oldest of the elder beings remember the time before the (insert cliché term for major event here) Apocalypse/Sundering/Founding/Confabulation/Explodemageddon. Lichs and elder dragons, as well as those surviving elves over 1000 years old, might have distant memories of their original worlds, but for most the new world is the only world they’ve ever known.

There are surviving records and relics of long lost magics and places, as well as ruins of those who were shunted in and did not survive.

The largest city in the Bastard Land is simply called “The Place”. Desirous of a major city to rival the other realms, the young gods simply stole five or six existing cities, and placed them all next to and overlapping each other in a jumbled mess, as well as including several unconnected towns and villages. The ensuing clash of languages and customs was catastrophic, but effective. Without an actual name for the city, and with each group wanting to keep their original name, the conflicting factions took to calling the megatropolis “The Place” as a sort of compromise. The Place is not peaceful, by any stretch of the imagination.

This is where I tell my tales. I’ll go into the more established groups and races later, but this setting allows me to tell whatever story I want, with whatever races and classes, from whatever existing setting, regardless of rhyme or reason, because chaos the name of the game.

I plan on going into the parts of the world I’ve created of my own in later posts. Two creations immediately come to mind; the Elochian Gnomes, and the Holy Halfman Empire.

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